You’ll Be Laughing Hysterically After Seeing These Restaurant Signs!

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Let’s Add Some Seasoning!

Austin Texas’s El Arroyo is especially good when it comes to drawing in customers with their clever signs. This hilarious sign offers their take on seasonal weight change. Of course, they see nothing wrong with a few extra winter pounds!

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50FT Drink Anyone?

Drop what you are doing right now and head to McDonalds! The famous fast food chain is now offering an incredible, limited-time special on beverages. For just one dollar, you can get an entire 50 feet worth of drink! In case you’re accustomed to the metric system, that’s approximately the entire length of a semitrailer. If you ask us, that sounds like far too much beverage. But who are we to judge? Never change and keep on living that super-sized life, ‘Merica.

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Sorry for the Incontinence

Out of all the reasons to temporarily close down a restaurant, incontinence is probably the most legitimate. It’s simply not realistic to run and operate a public food service facility with that kind of reoccurring problem. While the restaurant owner might lose a little bit of money during the time period that his restaurant is closed, it certainly beats the potential threat of a fine from the health inspector if the issues were to simply be ignored or covered up.

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Beatable Feast

Break us off a piece of whatever the Colonel is serving up because it sounds delicious! According to their sign, Kentucky Fried Chicken is now selling an “uneatable feast” for just $14.99. Their advertising for this particular food offer has been virtually non-existent, leaving customers wondering, “What exactly about this feast makes it so uneatable?” The possibilities are endless. KFC’s newest marketing strategy of not sharing any actual details about their food means there’s only one way to find out!

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The Elephant in the Restaurant

El Arroyo is at it again! This time their punny sign isn’t even relephant to food or their restaurant whatsoever. Whoever was given the responsibility of posting the sign on this day, clearly knows a thing or two about dad jokes. Even though this pun may cause you to cringe and feel slightly uncomfortable, for the citizens of Austin, Texas who enjoy a cheesy joke every now and then, El Arroyo must be their favorite restaurant in town.

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Wendy’s Want You!

Wendy’s dark and sarcastic sense of humor is a little offensive to their hard-working employees if you ask us. While there may be a certain stigma attached to working in a minimum wage position for a fast food joint, it’s generally frowned upon to openly and publicly insult your own workers. The only question we have is what type of person saw this sign and thought, “That’s it! I’ll apply to Wendy’s, where my hard work will certainly be appreciated!”

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Want Some Over-Time?

Whichever restaurant employee made this sign needs a refresher in simple math and the days of the week. Apparently, the calendar they’ve been using has some sort of mystery day in the middle of the week. We understand that being open for a majority of the week for long hours is a point worth sharing with potential customers. However, maybe next time it would worth it to double check both a calculator as well as a calendar before printing out a sign.

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Not Exactly Soup

If there are any two words that we would never want to see next to each other on a menu, they would have to be “whiskey” and “soup.” There is no possible arrangement of these two, very different products that would ever cause us to want to taste the final product. Unless there is some sort of magic secret formula that causes whiskey soup to taste wonderful, we’ll probably just stick to the New England clam chowder with a small side salad.

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All the Single Daddies

This cafe decided to use their welcome sign to give a special shoutout to a few groups of men who typically go unappreciated. For all the pool boys, milkmen, and TV repairmen out there, don’t worry, this restaurant owner has your back. While fathers day wishes are typically reserved for the more traditional father figures in this world, we applaud this restaurant’s effort to reach out to each and every dad, whether they know it or not, on Father’s Day.

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So Much Choice

At this restaurant, what you see is literally exactly what you get. While most restaurant beverage menus prefer to accompany a photo of the specific bottle or company logo alongside the drinks themselves, this restaurant decided to break the typical mold by offering a menu with an even more boring appearance. They chose to feature a photo of what each drink actually looks like under each word. They probably didn’t think to consider that most drinks look exactly the same.

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Mommy Issues

At one point or another, this embarrassing slip-up has happened to each and every one of us. You’re sitting in 5th-period social studies, just after lunch. As you’re digesting that personal pizza, you begin to feel your eyelids get heavy. Mrs. Robinson notices that you’re beginning to doze off so she decides to call on you by surprise to answer a question. In your half-awake state, you answer to her and accidentally call her mom. You never live it down.

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Purring For Lunch

The 2001 comedy film Supertroopers pioneered this incredible way to confuse an unsuspecting stranger. The trick is to slip in the word “meow” into any conversation as subtly and frequently as possible. If you can execute the technique properly, your victim will be thrown off and noticeably rattled by the conversation because they know they heard something weird, but they aren’t quite sure exactly what it was that made them feel uncomfortable. It’s definitely worth giving a try.

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No Soup For You!

Every now and then, everyone needs to have their egos checked. People who go through their whole lives with the constant delusional idea that they are special, better than everyone else, or deserving of some kind of delicious specialty soup are bound to run into problems sooner or later. It won’t take long for them to realize that friends, family, peers, and strangers don’t appreciate their entitled mentality. Luckily, this restaurant’s sign is here to put these people in their place!

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Best Bad Meatball Sandwich

In the age of Yelp, everyone thinks they’re a food critic. While technology has done a lot of good when it comes to being able to conveniently navigate the world around us, it has also given certain individuals, like the guy who didn’t approve of his meatball sandwich, a little too much power. These days, with just one click, some Joe Shmoe can put an entire restaurant out of business just because he forgot to tell his waitress he didn’t want pickles.

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Canine Crimestoppers?

On this day, the employee chosen to think of the El Arroyo welcoming sign was Chad, the busboy. Chad is what some people would call a deep thinker. Often times, random thoughts will simply pop into Chad’s head. Last year, Chad began writing all of his deep thoughts down in his diary. When he was given the responsibility of coming up with last Thursday’s sign, it was the first opportunity Chad has ever had to share his deep thoughts with the world.

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Soup Wars

Picture this: you’re the owner of this local cafe. You’ve been running your restaurant for a few years now and business is booming. Just when you think you think you’ve finally found your calling in this world, a big chain like Denny’s or Panera moves in down the street and your business begins to suffer because of them. Are you just going to sit there and let them run you off the block? No. You’re going to fight for your territory.

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Best Customer

This restaurant owner decided to praise their most loyal customer, who supported his favorite local business by purchasing a coffee despite the fact that he already had one. While it’s obviously easier and cheaper to buy coffee from the local Dunkin Donuts, we applaud this customer’s moral compass. By utilizing the once-popular internet meme of “Good Guy Greg,” this restaurant shows their great appreciation for this customer’s faithfulness and good cheer. We’re sure that this shoutout made “Good Guy Greg’s” day.

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It’s A Miracle

Some call it magic, and others call it inventiveness. We like to call it delicious. El Arroyo is clearly the restaurant with the best signs in America. This time, they chose to give some recognition for those of us out there who don’t follow dietary or social guidelines when it comes to breakfast. When we wake up and we’re hungry, we’re going to eat whatever is in the fridge, whether it’s cold pizza, leftover Chinese food, or some tasty fish tacos.

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Food Makes the World Go Round

Nothing motivates potential customers to come into your restaurant like a good ol’ fashioned guilt trip. This restaurant owner decided to put the power of guilt to the test and see how many people in his hometown actually care if he can afford to put food on his family’s table. What this restaurant owner may have failed to consider, however, is that perhaps there are other food joints just around the corner who won’t guilt their customers into buying a meal.

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Just Eat It

If you are a vegan or vegetarian, this restaurant clearly isn’t the place for you. Even those of us who don’t eat meat have to admire this restaurant’s incredible critical thinking skills. If this amazing flow chart doesn’t get customers to buy their meat, we don’t know what will. Their logic is truly flawless and no matter which way you think about it, you’ll end up eating their meat. If you ask us, it’s pretty interesting how that works out…

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The Key to His Heart

Whichever El Arroyo employee came up with this day’s sign was clearly going through a bad breakup and feeling rather pessimistic about love and relationships. However, when you really think about it, it’s not necessarily that far off from the truth. In relationships, both partners are usually pretty indecisive, especially early on, because they don’t want to disappoint or let down the other person. Because of this phenomena, countless hours are wasted on simple decisions like finding a place to eat.

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Clear Instructions

A picture is always worth a thousand words. In this situation, the restaurant staff wanted to let their customers know that certain behaviors, like ‘flicking over tables’ will not be tolerated in their establishment. To really get the point across, they accompanied their request with a poorly detailed illustration showing a gentleman who was so upset with the poor customer service that he took out his frustrations on his table. At least customers will now understand that this is unacceptable.

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No Rhyme, No Reason

Who would have thought that the next Edgar Allen Po is actually an employee at The Alex Restaurant? While Steve still hasn’t gotten his big break, he is hopeful that if he continues to post his work on the sign outside his restaurant, one day a high-up executive from a major publishing company will come along and think “Wow, that’s the most moving and powerful poem I’ve ever seen. I need to sign the author to a book contract as soon as possible.”

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Baby Got Puns

On this day, El Arroyo decided to take a page out of famous ’90 Hip-Hop artist Sir Mix-A-Lot’s book. His song “Baby Got Back” took the rap world by storm in the early ’90s and the lyrical prowess we saw in 1992, continues to have an influence in today’s modern pop-culture. Whether it’s in Nicki Manj’s hit single, “Anaconda,” or in a hilarious pun posted on the sign outside El Arroyo, Sir Mix-A-Lot has made his mark on the 21st century.

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Following Orders

It seems to us that this employee might have some problems dealing with authority. It doesn’t take a rocket science to read the sarcasm on this chalkboard. Luckily for this Fuel & Fuddle worker, what he will later refer to as a “miscommunication,” isn’t exactly a reasonable justification for getting fired. If you ask us, though, it seems that his relationship with his boss isn’t exactly on good terms and he might be better off working at another restaurant.

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Just Horsing Around

This El Arroyo sign presents an age-old question. What would be harder to fight? 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck? We did some thinking about this dilemma and we think we can finally settle the debate. While one horse-sized duck may sound pretty intimidating, a duck isn’t the most aggressive animal. Horses, on the other hand, possess incredible kicking strength. Even if they were shrunken down to the size of a duck, 100 horses could overpower the strongest of humans.

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Vegan = Anti-Social?

This one is definitely not El Arroyo’s strongest pun, but funny nonetheless. This hilarious play on words pokes fun at all of those vegans and vegetarians who never stop talking about their dietary choices and lifestyle differences. The only potential problem about being a social vegan is that if they avoiding meeting new people, they’ll never have the chance to tell people about how they are a social vegan to talk about why it makes them better than everyone else.

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The Most Important Equation

There’s a pretty good chance that Matt Damon’s character from the 1997 drama Good Will Hunting wrote this sign for The Redhead sports bar. Either that, or there is some other hidden genius currently working at The Redhead, washing dishes in the kitchen. While the first half of this equation seems well thought-out and clearly explained, we’re not so sure that the line written in blue makes sense to those of us who have yet to pound a few beers.

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Traveling Back in Time

This restaurant decided to remind its customers of a simpler time- a time when people used to sit, talk, and take a genuine interest in the people and world around them. This sign provides a throwback to the days when an awkward silence wasn’t simply an excuse to check Facebook or Instagram. It meant that you had to actually come up with something to say to break the silence. This WiFi-less restaurant can potentially change the bad habits of an entire generation.

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Boastful Babushka

El Arroyo has been on a roll recently with their dad jokes. This time, they out-punned even the punniest of competitors with their take on Russian dolls. For those of you who don’t get it, these dolls are known as “Babushkas.” While it may initially appear as just one doll, you will soon discover that the Babushka opens up to reveal a smaller doll. Inside that doll lies another even smaller doll. This pattern continues until you reach the last, and smallest, Babushka.

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What Goes In Comes Out

You would have to be pretty confident that you are a good person to go out for a bit to eat at the Karma Cafe. You could end up eating a delicious pastry and cappuccino, or you could end up with a pile of trash that’s been sitting in the sun for a week on your plate with a side of toilet water. So next time you take a trip to the Karma Cafe, make sure you know what you’re in for.

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Dance Till You Drop

Addiction can be a tough thing to overcome. Whatever your vice is, whether illegal substances, gambling, or silly dances, addiction is no laughing matter. That is, of course, unless your bad habit somehow involves a hilarious pun. This restaurant employee decided to get creative when it was his turn to take over the parking lot sign. While he may have struggled with his Hokey Pokey problem a few years back, we’re happy to see that he has turned his life around.

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Desperate Measures

Of all the reasons to close a restaurant early, this one seems to be the most legitimate. The potential threat of the coming apocalypse is always a concern for restaurant owners, but rarely will they actually sacrifice business in anticipation of “the imminent collapse of society.” This probably means one of three things. Either one of the employees has the power to predict the future, the owner needed an excuse to get home early, or he has simply lost his mind.

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Absolutely Punishing

We were almost positive that the Spanish words “El Arroyo” meant “The Pun.” However, after a good ol’ fashioned search on google translate, we discovered that it actually means “The Stream.” Regardless, El Arroyo yet again has us in stitches with their remarkable pun skills. This sign gives El Arroyo customers a well-calculated mathematical play-on-words, utilizing the double meanings behind both the words “average” and “mean.” El Arroyo truly never ceases to impress with their word-play and dad-joke style of communication.

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Who Doesn’t Love Bacon?

It’s hard for us to argue with this logic. The only exception, of course, would be those of us who have religious or ethical justifications for not eating bacon. For everyone else, however, you’re not fooling anyone when you say you don’t like bacon. The greasy, crispy, and fattening deliciousness is truly irresistible to even fitness and health gurus. With that in mind, we couldn’t agree more with this restaurant’s sentiment that anyone who doesn’t like bacon is definitely wrong.

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Insta-Foodies Watch Out

There’s nothing worse than staring at the delicious cheeseburger you bought but not being able to eat it yet because your friend is busy pulling out his phone so he can take a picture and upload it to his Instagram. For whatever reason, the latest trend of “foodstagraming” has caught on and suddenly it has become normal for an entire generation to photograph their food before they can eat. Luckily, the Racket restaurant is taking a stand to this ridiculous trend.

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Can We Celebrate Anything These Days?

El Arroyo gets it. In today’s sensitive cultural climate, even the most harmless of comments can set off an angry mob of social justice warriors and millennials armed with keyboards and Facebook posts. El Arroyo just wants to wish all of its customers whatever it is they want to hear without the risk of upsetting anyone else in the process. We could all learn a lot about the importance of being politically correct at all times from this El Arroyo employee.

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The Art Of Convincing

Another brilliant and logical flowchart makes our list with this sports bar and their sign displaying the reasoning as to why you should sit down for a drink. According to this sign, there’s really never a bad time to stop by and grab a beer. If you had a good day, you should treat yourself in celebration. And if you had a bad day, the best way to forget about and move on is to drink a beer and relax.

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Know Your Audience

The owner of this bar was clever and business-minded enough to understand the demographics of his clientele on Valentine’s Day. Most people who are in a serious relationship prefer to either open a bottle of wine and cook something themselves or go out to a fancy restaurant with their significant other on Valentine’s day. The only people who spend their Valentine’s Day at a bar are most likely single (and if they aren’t they probably will be come February 15th).

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Revenge On The Restaurant

The owner of this Chinese restaurant has been wondering for months why business has been down. The Dynasty Restaurant used to have a steady flow of hungry customers lining up out the door for some of their famous wonton soup. These days, however, they are struggling to stay afloat. If only they would realize that changing the light bulbs on their sign could solve their problem. After all, nobody wants to eat from a restaurant that describes their own food as “nasty.”

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Don’t Drink And Drive

This restaurant, whether intentional or not, is doing their part to limit the number of people driving while under the influence. That’s because they don’t even offer parking to begin with. What they do provide, however, is an awesome atmosphere and a great menu with delicious pizza and beer on tap. If you can take a cab or an Uber, you’ll be good to go. You just need to make sure you show up with an empty stomach and a full wallet.

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Appropriate Footwear Required

This restaurant is taking a stand against tacky fashion. While some may consider it unconstitutional to refuse service based on the clothes someone is wearing, we couldn’t agree more with the sentiment expressed on this sign. It’s a pretty simple concept. If it’s hot out, and you don’t want to wear socks and shoes, you wear sandals. If it’s not hot, and your feet need warmth, you wear socks and shoes. There is never a reason to wear socks with sandals.

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Jumping The Gun

The stuck-up and snobbish nature of hipsters leaves them vulnerable to all kinds of verbal abuse, including the type of joke we see on this restaurant’s sign. While we understand that nobody should face this kind of scrutiny on a regular basis, we can’t help but think that maybe they bring it upon themselves when they constantly brag about having known Mumford And Sons before they were on the radio or when they drink beverages out of a glass jar.

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Shizzling Hot Soup

Sometimes a generational gap can lead to some interesting nuances among immigrant families. When the owners of this Vietnamese restaurant passed it down to their children, who had lived most of their lives in the United States, and happen to be big Snoop Dogg fans, they were concerned to learn of plans to change the name of the family business to pay homage to the rap mogul. Even though their retired parents didn’t agree with the name change, business has been better than ever.

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End Of The Line

This restaurant sign might be the most honest and real sign on our list. The deep and profound message it conveys expresses that the only thing in this world that will truly be there for us no matter what is food. Food has the unique ability to cheer you up and brighten up your whole day without even using words. How many people can say they’ve experienced that from a boyfriend? Friends may come and go, but food is forever.

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Wine Not?

If we saw this sign, there is no way we’d leave this wine bar without buying a glass. The bottom line is that we wouldn’t be able to live with ourselves knowing that these innocent grapes gave their lives for the sole purpose of providing us with a bottle of delicious red wine. Despite that this sign may or may not be playing the guilt trip card for the sake of business, we refuse to let these grapes die in vain.

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Fat Chance

This is a classic mix-up. While one of the activities written on this sign involves intense muscle control, balance, toning, sweating and other exercises that aren’t so fun, the latter describes a much more enjoyable activity for all of us- eating pie and drinking sweet coffee beverages. If you consider yourself a health nut, take all the pilates classes you want. We won’t judge because we’ll be too busy eating pie and drinking lattes. Maybe next year we’ll get into shape.

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Fine Print

This brewery’s sign chose some odd words to accentuate. You would think that it would make the most sense to simply write each word the same size as the others. For whatever reason, the Blue Point Brewing Company employee who wrote this sign thought it would be a good idea to share with customers that they can watch the LIVE telecast of the Olympics, including GIRLS volleyball and fencing. Why he chose to capitalize the words he did, we have no idea.

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Egg-knowledge Me

Nothing sounds more appetizing to potential restaurant-goers than a single, plain egg. This restaurant is revolutionizing the food industry with their new simplistic approach to menus. How often do you find yourself going out to eat but unable to decide on something because everything sounds so good? You’re simply paralyzed by choices. This restaurant is changing the game by giving customers simple menus without any confusion. If you see the word “egg” on the menu, you know you’ll end up with an egg.

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Mind Blown

In addition to puns and dad jokes, El Arroyo’s employees are now also having a go at deep philosophical and sociological theories. Their signs not only inspire a chuckle every now and then, but also educate customers and those who drive past the restaurant on what it means to be human. This sign, in particular, caused us to take a moment and contemplate some of our other social tendencies such as shaking hands, dancing, waving to say hello, and the concept of money.

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Why Not Good, Cheap and Fast?

In a world where every store, restaurant, and local business is making promises they can’t keep, you truly have to appreciate the honesty shared by the employee who put this sign up. There’s nothing worse than going into a food joint with high expectations only to be let down by an expensive menu, poor customer service, or a long wait. This restaurant owner was smart when he made his business plan because now every customer knows exactly what they’re in for.

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Fried Mind Tricks

When all of their other marketing and advertising strategies had failed, this restaurant recruited the help of the neighborhood hypnotist to bring in some more customers. He used his special hypnotist powers to create this sign for them, which draws customers in with the psychic powers of bacon. The way it works is that as soon as the eyes of a hungry individual meet the center of the circle, their mouths begin to water and they crave bacon almost immediately.

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Mieowing For More

The owners of Wicked Wok want you to know that they couldn’t care less about your family pet. They are sick of you coming in and asking about your cat, who went missing months ago. It’s time to move on. The folks over at Wicked Wok are in the business of egg roles, fried rice, and sweet and sour soup. They aren’t there to help find your lost pet. Maybe next time try putting up flyers around the neighborhood and its surroundings.

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Honest Reference

It’s always comforting to know that the owner of a restaurant would eat their food. In most food service establishments, the workers have seen the lack of cleanliness and overall low sanitary standards which are only met when the health inspector comes. This causes them to avoid food from their employer’s kitchen at all costs, despite the fact that they work there and that it’s probably discounted. So when owners say that they’s eat their own restaurants’ food, it means a lot.

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Can Buy Me Love

If there’s anything in this world that says “I love you,” it would have to be picking up the bar tab. Some people go their entire lives without ever knowing love means. Clearly, these people have never set foot in this bar. Whoever wrote this sign is most likely a romance novel writer on the side, because they clearly understand the concept of love. Perhaps they also work part-time for Hallmark, writing romantic cards for guys to give their girlfriends on Valentine’s Day.

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Parent’s Worst Nightmare

This restaurant has thought of the greatest possible way to get back at irresponsible parents who let their children run around and do whatever they please, causing a nuisance to other customers who are simply trying to enjoy a meal. Their idea is truly the gift that keeps on giving. By giving the child coffee, these restaurant employees are getting the best possible revenge by ensuring that the parents will need to deal with their overly-hyper children for long after they leave the restaurant.

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Run For Your Life

What sounds more appealing? A refreshing tasty beverage? Or the chance of encountering a terrifying 1,000 pound, 6-foot tall creature of the forest. Yeah, we would probably also choose the nice drinks. It’s nothing personal against bears. We’re sure there are plenty of friendly, well-trained bears out there working at a circus or in the movies. That being said, it’s just not a risk we’re willing to take, especially when the other available option is a nice drink or two.

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Good Question

Nothing beats a delicious slice of cheap pizza. The velociraptor on this sign is asking a question that most of us probably should be asking as well. If you can get a tasty slice of pizza for just one dollar, why are there pizza restaurants out there selling pizza that doesn’t taste as good for a more expensive price? Shouldn’t all pizza places just conform to the standards set by this particular restaurant? Sometimes, restaurant signs can make you wonder.

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