Welcome To Jurassic Park
If you’ve lived in an apartment building, then you understand the sheer rage that is caused by constant clomping from your upstairs neighbors. Often referred to as elephants or dinosaurs, such heavy footsteps are disruptive to many a sleep schedule.
A Free Tip
Nosy neighbors are nothing new, especially in higher-end developments, where residents care only about the public image they present. In a move that seems taken straight from the Dursley’s, one homeowner has taken it upon herself to tell her new neighbor that they utterly disapprove of their choice in a mailbox. Usually, even the most meddlesome of neighbors would settle for simply making a passive aggressive comment intended to spur their neighbors to action, but when that doesn’t work, it’s better to be direct.
It’s generally accepted that there are two types of grandparent you can become. There’s the grandparent who’s always open for hugs and kisses and keeps a stash of cookies hidden for you at all times. Then, there’s the grandparent who chases people off their lawn for even so much as glancing towards their house. It’s clear from this note that this grandparent is definitely the latter. While no one can blame them for being angry about the theft, it’s the parting curse that seals the image.
Nipping A Bad Habit
When you consider junky cats, you usually expect to hear the stories of those who just couldn’t quit the catnip. It’s been a rough road for Lionel, who managed to break his catnip habit, at the expense of an unfortunate addiction to cigarettes. Of course, he’s never been one to heed the naysaying of his desperate owners. For all their precautions, Lionel continues to give them the slip every night, as he heads outside to get his nicotine fix on the neighbors’ cigarette butts.
Linda Blair, Is That You?
When building residents decide to engage in a bout of intimate activity, most neighbors would generally prefer not to be a part of it. The inhabitants of the disturbed apartment had had enough. Their next-door neighbors could hardly go two days without hearing shocking screams accompanied by the incessant creaking of a bed frame. As they decided what to write on their cease and desist notification, they thought a bit of humor would hopefully aid them in reaching their desired result.
An Unlucky Thief
This sleepy neighborhood thought that they were immune from the kind of youthful shenanigans that plague their rival on the other side of town. They were quickly proven wrong as building by building was hit with a slate of thefts that only targeted Amazon packages. Some may say the bandits were doing the residents a favor by trying to convince them to stay away from an evil empire, but to others, they only knew that their ferret water bottle had been unfairly swiped.
On The Front Lines
Without prior warning, hearing the cries and explosions caused by video game playing might be cause for worry by those who aren’t otherwise in the know. This courteous neighbor decided to give her fellow residents a heads up after they accidentally called the police on her, fearing she was in distress. While it might be helpful for her to invest in quality headphones herself, clearly it won’t protect her delicate neighbors from her loud swearing.
Big Brother Is Watching
For months now, apartment 1460 has been aggravating their neighbors with their unending series of misdemeanors. If it’s not moving furniture at ungodly hours of the night, it’s their dog peeing on the trash shoot. When it isn’t their dog, they have rowdy game nights with their friends that keep half the building awake. Their refusal to throw out their trash, however, was the last straw for one resident. They were through with having to smell the rotting filth in the hallway and left this note.
I Can See For Miles
Not everyone is as concerned with personal privacy, which can lead to a number of uncomfortable tours of the neighborhood. These three athletic denizens had seen their new neighbors in various compromised states far too many times in the recent weeks to allow it to continue. They kindly suggested leaving their blinds closed if they’re going to constantly forget to put on clothes. At least they were kind enough not to call one of them “ugly naked guy.”
What Sound Does A Dog Make?
It’s never pleasant to hear a dog in distress, but these annoyed neighbors likely don’t have the patience for animals in general. If a dog is barking that constantly throughout the day, it likely suffers from separation anxiety. It’s not bad for the stricken dog’s owners to be aware of their fur baby’s condition, but vandalizing their home was taking it a bit too far. For all they know, the owners are at their wit’s end trying to comfort their dog.
Thank You For Your Service
This note may have started off with the best of intentions, but it quickly veered off into a savage guilt trip. The sacrifice those in the armed forces make for the protection of our country goes above and beyond what the general population is often willing to give. No one would have begrudged this woman her celebration in honor of her good friend’s return. However, there was no need to criticize her neighbors about supporting the troops, nor call them terrorists.
Welcome To Earth
In response to the forward march of modern medicine, some women are deciding that the best way to connect to their past is by giving birth at home. Many find the experience more comforting than being in a sterile hospital. Daniel’s wife was no different, as she thought it would be better for the baby to be born in a relaxing, rather than clinical environment. That was before the couple realized just how loud labor would be. Daniel hurriedly posted this note to pacify the neighbors.
The Laundry Room Troll Toll
Alan is the worst kind of neighbor there is. The kind who thinks he owns the building and can tell residents when and how to live their lives. This is not the first incident residents have had with Alan. He’s been trying to control their every move since the day he moved in, stealthily positioning himself as an unofficial superintendent. He hasn’t fooled anyone, however, and unbeknownst to him, the residents are now actively working to get Alan kicked out of the building.
On A Mission From God
Jehovah’s Witnesses who constantly knock on your door are probably harmless, except for the crippling anxiety they cause your teenage children when they’re home alone watching TV. One minute they’re absorbed in what Kimmy K’s next move will be, and the next there’s a knock on the door, with only a creepy, rundown car outside. It’s enough to arouse anyone’s sense of stranger danger. This note writer is right on the money with his threats.
You Can’t Catch Me
One would think that someone who is well read enough to want to read the daily paper would know better than to stoop to stealing. In our opinion, it’s only the thief who should be ashamed of themselves. At the very least, if you’re going to take someone else’s paper, return it when you’re done. Clapping back for admitting to stealing is far worse than calling out a real neighborhood jerk. The children will hopefully learn that stealing is never ok.
When you have a neighbor with an errant pet, it’s easy to assume that your neighbor must not be caring for the pet well enough, even if they aren’t purposefully mistreating their animal. Non-pet owners don’t understand that the trials of caring for a small animal are often similar to those of caring for a toddler. You think your kids will listen to every command you give? Now, why would your cat? The truth is, the cat-napper just hates felines.
Ready, Aim, Fire
It’s always a good thing when the high school’s star quarterback gets angry about people who neglect to pick up after their dogs. Even while continuing to earn straight A’s on top of daily practices, he’s had time to become a neighborhood watchman. Whether you think he’s watching or not, if you don’t pick up after your dog, he will find you, and throw the whole load right in your face. His arm never waivers. You’ve been warned.
The Kid Has Spoken
If you’re noisy enough to prompt a middle schooler to write you an angry letter, you know you’ve really taken it a step too far. Night after night, she complained to her parents about the sound of bowling balls keeping her awake in the dead of the night. They finally decided that their neighbors are likely to feel far more guilty about a 12-year-old girl writing them a letter. For her sake, we hope they heed her warnings.
Cats Out Of The Bag
We have a few questions about this resident. Why are so many people coming and going that not one, but three reminders have to be posted about keeping the cats indoors? You know there’s a problem when week by week, the doorbell rings, and animal control is there, holding your naughty cat in his arms. This resident likely knows that her next offense is her last, even if she’s tried to prove that she provides a warm and loving home for her fur babies.
My Dinner With Andre
It was a real rager of a night. The kind of epic evening with your friends that you’ll reminisce about for years to come whenever you all happen to get together. Of course, for Andre, all he remembers is a series of vignettes. Why he brought his cat upstairs, not even his friends can remember. Andre had been known to get belligerent from time to time when he had a few beers, but the night before was a revelation.
There are general steps you can take when you suspect parents aren’t doing their job. Of course, any mother knows just how difficult it can be to have young children. Even before they can walk and talk, babies will start fighting you on a variety of issues, from putting their pajamas on to going to sleep. Some moms just hit their breaking point and let the kids do what they want. Other people, however, misunderstand the situation, which can prove disastrous.
They always say it’s better to talk to your neighbors if you hate their lawn ornaments before going to the police. When this neighbor called the police on his flaming loving fellow, he didn’t stop to consider that spite only breeds spite. The police knocked on flamingo man’s door and told him his neighbor had called before they went out for a round of doughnuts. Lawn ornaments are only an eyesore, but not a crime, he staked every last one of them in the neighboring yard.
A Particular Set Of Skills
When polite pleas to keep the entrance of your building fail, it’s always a good idea to go for the threatening Neeson as the next step. Though it’s possible to call management on the repeat offender, the attempt to address man to anonymous man is a kinder way of handling the situation, without having to search the entire building. There’s no work for the lazy, however, and we’re guessing this situation only escalated from here.
Let The Beat Drop
Sarcasm speaks volumes. Unless of course, your neighbor’s bass speakers are so loud that you can’t even hear yourself think, let alone read a sign. The whole building knew exactly who the offender was, but considering the constant middle of the night disruptions, they just couldn’t let it slide. After an intervention meeting was held, one volunteer stepped up to the plate. Little did they know this sarcastic treatise would be the result. They’re now planning another intervention.
YouTube may have made famous the phrase “hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wives” but it’s this friendly neighborhood cyclist who put out the warning that bike thieves had become ever more intrepid in recent days. After a wave of bicycle thefts struck the quiet neighborhood, one victim decided it was time to take a stand. She was determined to prevent any further thefts. The next day, she arrived downstairs on her way to work, only to find her sign had been taken as well.
Everything Must Go?
The vast majority of the population may harbor thoughts of making off with someone’s car or computer when their valuables were carelessly left unsecured. In general, however, none of them would ever actually stoop to such a low level. This person realized that not everyone is as honest as he is, and wanted to make sure his neighbor knew just how reckless he was being. After crafting the note, he did make a pass through their medicine cabinet before going on his merry way.
Voice Of A Neighbor
When watching any sort of talent-based reality show, there are always a number of contestants that make you wonder who could have encouraged them to ever open their mouths in front of other people. The real issue isn’t encouragement, per se, but rather never getting told that they’re actually horrible. This neighbor decided to kill two birds with one stone, and at once save his neighbor from further humiliation while also saving his own hearing.
Sowing The Seeds Of Love
This kindly neighbor was sitting and watching TV with his girlfriend when a crash outside startled them out of their reverie. They hurried to their patio to see the horrific plant accident-strewn across their floor. The pair hurried to rescue the languishing plant that was now out of a home. Though they were able to rehabilitate the greenery, the pot was destined for the landfill. They left this note for their neighbors, hoping they’d take better care of their plants in the future.
Problems At Hogwarts
It’s been years since a decent Harry Potter book or film has been released, but some have still found ways to keep the magic alive. It might be rereading the books again or writing their own fanfictions detailing Harry’s adventures in adulthood. For this fan, it’s coping with her loud neighbors by pretending she lives below Hagrid. As lovable as the half-giant may be, however, his heavy footfalls would disturb even the most laid-back of residents.
Van Or Hearse?
There’s usually a good reason for someone to own a large van. They may be a contractor and need the space to transport large quantities of building supplies from job to job. They may just run a company bussing people to and from work, or they may have a large family. Whatever the reason though, this van has struck fear into the heart of their neighbor, who kindly requested they park their spy ship in front of someone else’s house.
Snakes On The Brain
Even if you love snakes, we highly doubt this snake isn’t dangerous. There have been enough stories of “friendly” snakes sizing up their loving owners for their next meal. It’s likely the snake figured its power had grown enough to take on the tasty human in the house, but needed some time to plot its attack. It escaped its cage in order to make a startling comeback. Nick might think his pet his harmless, but he’s in for a big surprise.
City dwellers are used to all sorts of loud noises at any time of the day, but roosters aren’t usually one of them. The first time the rooster crowed in the middle of the bustling city, it seemed like some sort of strange novelty. The second time, residents raised their eyebrows, but otherwise paid it no mind. As the rooster’s crows became more frequent, however, those who dwelled in its vicinity began to wake to dream about fried chicken with increased frequency.
Good old, Nick. He may be the best neighbor to have if you’re a frequent partier, but it comes at a cost. Nick has no issue with mooching off of his neighbors day and night. Order a pizza? Suddenly Nick’s at your door, beer in hand, ready to help “clean up.” He seemed nice enough, but his neighbors felt like he was up to something. When they ultimately discovered he was using them for free wifi, they changed the network and didn’t tell him.
Call Me Never
The prevailing attitude when it comes to new neighbors is that you should be welcoming, just in case you ever need to borrow a cup of sugar or some other necessity. One would also expect the same respect from the new neighbors as they learn to work themselves into the social fabric. If they started out by blocking another driveway from the get-go, it’s clear that their reputation was ruined from the start. Other residents clearly supported the wording in this scathing note.
Nein Nein Nein!
Some people may enjoy public displays of affection, but many others would rather not have to see it on their way home from work in the evenings. The afflicted residents weren’t sure how to best handle the German newcomer. They finally figured it was better to act like maybe he didn’t know what he was doing when he brought a parade of women through the apartment. They hoped the flag compliment made their request just a little more palatable.
The ability to have toilet paper delivered directly to your door without so much as leaving the john is a convenience of the technological era. When someone goes and snatches your paper package, however, it’s even worse than realizing you’ve run out of the soft stuff while you’re already stuck in the bathroom. Now, in addition to having to leave the house, this apartment dweller is on the hunt for the toilet paper bandit, and he won’t rest until justice has been served.
Make Or Break
Neighbors can be noisy in many different ways, but the most uncomfortable situation is when your neighbors scream at one another every single day. When arguments occur intermittently, everyone understands that frustrations can boil over at any time. It’s a whole different ball game when it’s a feature of daily life. As the note suggests, this couple would likely be better off if they were to go there separate ways. Everyone who can hear their constant arguing would be better off too.
Barb and Tom don’t ask for much from their neighbors. Mostly, they don’t like what their neighbors watch on TV, what they eat for dinner, and especially the fact that they engage in activities that Barb and Tom believe should only occur within the context of marriage. Their daughter has been completely ignorant of the goings on over in her neighbors’ apartment, but her parents have always been the type to stick their noses in other people’s business.
The Elephant In The Room
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and after this note, we couldn’t agree more. Some psychology experts say that if you want to make a change in a person’s behavior, it’s better to give them positive commands, rather than forbidding them from an action. This note is the perfect depiction of what the residents need from their annoying neighbors with easy to follow instructions. In case they get lost, there’s even a picture to keep them on track.
Every Step You Take
What might have come off as a creepy song reference instead was repurposed into a perfectly snarky takedown of the elephants living upstairs. They could have gone for the aggressive confrontation or even a more direct angry note, but with this, the recipients are thrown off by the popular song in the beginning. As they began to hum along, suddenly their senses were affronted once more as they reach the note’s true purpose; they walk around way too loudly.
A Night At The Roxy
The worst part about your neighbors having a loud party is not that it keeps you awake as you ache for your beauty rest throughout the night. The worst part is that they didn’t invite you too. Instead of eating that pint of Ben & Jerry’s and cutting your losses, it’s probably a better plan to keep a detailed account of the stages of your neighbors’ loud party, especially when it includes an hours long performance of pop’s greatest hits.
The Po-Po Know
Someone in town had been watching Caddyshack again. Inspired by Bill Murray’s break out performance, they thought it would be a good idea to practice their swing by attacking the flowers in a nearby garden. As the game became more reckless than anything else, the player began attempting to cover his tracks, unsuccessfully of course. The afflicted homeowner was enraged to find her property in such a state of disarray. The perpetrator was careful to avoid that house for a good couple of months afterward.
Not Walking On Sunshine
There are many reasons to uphold neighborhood standards of cleanliness. Aside from the awful aesthetics of being confronted by dog poop every morning, having to avoid the landmines makes outdoor recreation a less than pleasant experience. It’s even worse if you’re a family with young children who may pick up the dogs business as they would pick up a stick, only poop is significantly more gross. It’s a good thing they had this handy chalk to use to tell off their inconsiderate neighbors.
Change You Need
Criticizing someone’s choice of political bumper sticker is taking your complaints a bit too far. Even if you totally disagree, there must be something better you can do with your life than complain that your neighbor has different politics than you do. If it’s such an issue, it’s an even better idea to do something more drastic, should you really desire to drive the outsiders away. Then again, this could just be the first step in their master plan to get rid of any nonconformist neighbors.
A Kind Assassin
This angry neighbor is clearly well versed in the idea of killing them with kindness. She knew she was going above and beyond by bagging her silly neighbor’s yucky poopies! Not only that, she even went through the trouble of dropping them on their doorstep. Luckily for her, she’s a nice neighbor and not a vindictive one. Everyone knows the best way to get back at someone who wronged you is to put the poop in paper and let it burn.